She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
