Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do you have feelings for this penis?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
