My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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