so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
