yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
