Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
