The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
