drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
