can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
