I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
