Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
