David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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