the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
