My room smells like vodka and shame
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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