with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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