i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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