How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
