I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
