I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
