dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
