Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
