Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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