I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
