so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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