you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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