we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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