Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
