just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
