I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
