12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
