She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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