No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
