2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
