I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
