I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
