You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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