fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize