I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
