We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
