Edward fifth and chaser hands
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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