I bet he comes in French.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
