I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
