I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
