I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
