That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
