Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
