i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
