was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
