If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
