1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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