i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
