Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
